Open to Conversion

A big week in the news (Republican presidential debate, Obama’s speech, 9/11 anniversary, etc) has me thinking about the way people who disagree speak to one another.  This is not some novel idea of mine, in fact, nearly every talk show, magazine, and blog has already discussed our nations nasty “tone of discourse.”  My addition to the fray is based around the idea of conversion.  For people of faith (any faith) conversion is often spoken of as the moment when our arguments “win”.  If my argument is the most logical and I can convince those around me I am right, they will have no choice but to convert.

This mode of thinking is arrogance on steroids and makes me feel like a jerk.   Instead, when you hope to change opinions, thinking, actions, feelings, etc you must come to the conversation open to conversion.  This obviously goes in the face of our current political world where stubbornness has become a virtue.  When we are open to conversion we are 1. practicing humility, 2. treating our neighbor as we wish to be treated, and 3. being open to positive outcomes we cannot reach on our own.

1. Practicing Humility

Being open to conversion is scary.  It means admitting you don’t know everything.  It means admitting your conversation partner has something of value you can’t receive without them.  And it means you have to be vulnerable in front of someone you disagree with.  Humility also precedes compassion, helps us speak without hate, and makes us rely on faith outside of our own ability.

2. Treating your neighbor as you wish to be treated.

Often we share our opinions just because we are jazzed about them and we don’t care about changing someones mind.  Other times we have true disagreements and must hash those out to move forward.  In these moments, the art of conversation is pointless without openness to conversion.  Think of the most important opinion, thought, feeling, habit you have.  Now imagine what it would take to change that.  Most likely your thinking, “never gonna happen.”  Unfortunately, when your, “never gonna happen” has a conversation with someone else’s, “never gonna happen” both leave emphasizing division over unity, and often those most harmed by the disagreement are the poor, defenseless, and needy.  For example lets take a good hot button topic like health care.  Politicians have pretty much picked sides and said to each other, “never gonna happen”.  And while they hang out in their prospective (and well covered) corners nearly every American of every political, economic, and social standing gets screwed by the cost or lack of health care.  If these two sides were open to conversion and treated each other as they wish to be treated they might listen to each other, without planning a rebuttal, and come to a compromise.  Which leads to….

3. Open to positive outcomes not yet thought of.

Being open to conversion most likely will not lead to a complete 180 of your thoughts.  You rarely will be led to change religions, political parties, or even preferred brand of soda.  However, you may be surprised how being open to conversion can lead to a partnership you didn’t think possible, or common ground and initiatives you can work on while maintaining conversation about disagreements.  This happens more often than we think, unfortunately it doesn’t score big ratings on talk shows so we don’t always hear about it.

This week when you hear more angry folk talk about their, “never gonna happen”s.  Do your best to be open to conversation….even when it is painful.  You may just be surprised how it turns out.